Sandwich please, hold the mayo!

I've heard the term "sandwich generation" ( young kids and aging parents, YOU in between!) and I do fit the bill logistically but until about 4 weeks ago I wasn't what you'd call "actively sandwiched"!
This morning it hit me......this morning I drove my kids to school after packing their lunches and checking on their homework, I arrived at the hospital where I fed my Dad his breakfast, shaved him and helped him have a shower, I stayed until my Mom arrived then I slipped down to the cafeteria to get my mom some lunch, after lunch I helped my dad get into bed for a nap, walked my mom to her car, got into mine to pick my kids up from school. I'm making an early dinner so I can drive my daughter to her music rehearsal, go to the hospital to help Dad with his supper, go to my opera rehearsal, slip out early to help Dad get settled for the night, come home, tuck my own kids in, grab a HUGE glass of wine and go to bed!
I don't want this to sound complaining at all. I'd do ANYTHING for my parents. They've done so much for me and my kids. I don't mind doing this.....I just hate that I have to.....I hate seeing my Dad dependant.....a man who did everything so well. I hate seeing my Mom trying so hard to be ok on her own.
My hubby's been great, doing some laundry, making some meals, helping with homework and tomorrow my sister's coming from Vancouver with an open ended return ticket....ALLELUIA!!
I guess one could look at the bright side........I'm needed, I'm useful, my nursing background has really come in handy ( it's amazing the stuff Dr's will tell you when you speak their lingo!), my kids are old enought that they help when they can and we have a health care system that does anything and everything it can to diagnose, help and treat with no thought to how much it will cost or whether or not the HMO will cover it.
My Dad has had a CT, MRI, Lumbar puncture, neuro consult, heamatology consult, oncology consult, great nursing care, top of the line meds, and NOTHING had to be approved by an HMO, and nothing will cost a dime.
If they need help at home, aids for daily living, new medications, that will be provided by our health care system. I just have to convince my parents to accept the help!!

Not so "The blessing"

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best web mail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f-----g kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull shit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

Gentler Times

As my children are both nearing their teens and I have less control over their lives, I think more and more about the choices they will be making. Let's talk music for one.
I love and enjoy all types of music and encourage my kids to " try it before you say you don't like it". We all listen to and give a fair chance to classical, rock, folk, jazz, blues, opera, hip hop, pop etc etc. They both have ipods and I ( because I pay)download songs for them. They tell me the songs and I download them. Now, I download the clean versions of the songs and they have no problem with that. That in itself got me thinking.....
There's alot of "explicit" music out there. Pretty soon my kids will be buying their own music and listening to whatever they want. I was a little worried about that and it got me thinking to a more gentle time when I had total control over what my children heard. Here's some of it......

Rock- a - bye, baby, on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock.
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
Down will come baby, cradle and all. (Sweet dreams!)

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kinds horses and all the kings men,
couldn't put Humpty together again. (Oh well. They tried)

Goosey, goosey gander,
Whither shall I wander?
Upstairs and downstairs,
And in my lady's chamber.
There I met an old man
Who wouldn't say his prayers.
I took him by the left leg
and threw him down the stairs. ( wouldn't you?)

Rub -a -dub- dub
Three men in a tub,
And how do you think they got there?
The butcher the baker, the candlestick maker,
They all jumped out of a rotten potato,
"Twas enough to make a man stare ( huh? It doesn't even rhyme!)

Sing a song of sixpence,
a pocket full of rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds
Baked in a pie ( yuk!)
When the pie was open'd
The birds began to sing ( ah! hot! hot!)
Was not that a dainty dish to set before the king?
The king was in the counting house
Counting out his money ( three for me, none for them, five for me, none for them)
The queen was in the parlour eating bread and honey.
The maid was in the garden,
Hanging out the clothes ( sigh)
When down flew a blackbird,
And pecked off her nose.

What are little girls made of?
What are little girls made of?
Sugar and spice
And all things nice,
That's what little girls are made of.

What are little boys made of?
What are little boys made of?
Frogs and snails
And puppy-dogs' tails ( cut off tails?!!)
That's what little boys are made of.

So, I rethought the censorship thing. There's not much that I can think of that's more horrifying than the gentle nursery rhymes of yore!!!

Photographer

I was on my way home from work yesterday, sitting in traffic when I looked to my right and just above the car beside me I saw the upper torso of a photographer taking a picture.

He moved the camera this way and that, holding it sideways then turning the other way to view his "subject" from another angle.

His camera was one of those big cameras that you have to focus manually. It had a fairly large lens and looked kind of heavey. I was watching him and wondering what he was taking a picture of when the car beside me moved ahead "exposing" the whole photographer and his shopping cart full of all of his belongings.

He was a "cart pusher", "homeless", "street person" photographer!!! As my lane wasn't moving in the traffic I had time to rudely stare at my photographer making certain that indeed he wasn't pushing a cart full of expensive photography equipment. Fortunately he was so "focused" on his picture taking that he didn't notice my rude stares but those stares did ascertain that indeed he did have an assortment of empty pop bottles, shoes, garbage bags and tarps all neatly piled in his shopping cart.

Was he really taking a picture? Was there film in that camera? Why hadn't he pawned the expensive looking camera? Who knows?!! Who cares?!!

I was intrigued and let my imagination tell me that this man, standing on a busy street, in front of a fancy restaurant, being stared at by employed people in warm cars, saw something beautiful and wanted to capture it in his most valuable posession, his Minolta.

A blessing

My daughter's at "that" age. She's a tween. She just experienced that first of firsts....the first period.
I was lucky in that my Mom told me what to expect but more importantly made it seem like a good thing. I have friends who've made their daughters cry when they discussed menstruation...crying out " I don't want to get older!".
I always knew I wanted to do something "special" for Claire when the big day came. I told her we'd go out for lunch, and go shopping for something special to mark the event.
When the day did arrive I was talking to a friend of mine about it and she asked if I'd like to hear the Wiccan "First Blood Blessing". I told her of course and here it is.....
You're supposed to read it out loud in a forest or something but I just wrote it out and gave to to Claire in the car on the way to Sushi!!
Be free, be strong, be yourself, be lucky, be proud to be a woman, be loved and be loving.
May your body always be a blessing to you, a temple of love and pleasure.
May your womb bear fruit at your desire.
May you always remember that your power to create is of the body, but not bound by the body.
May you bear many different kinds of fruit.
Honor your blood that waxes and wanes with the moon, for it is the living presence of the Goddess.
May your blood flow gently, without pain, reminding you that within you lies the circle of birth, growth, death and rebirth.
Yours is the power to open or close the gates of life, and yours is the responsibility to be a conscious guardian.
Open to the embrace of love when you choose, and when you do not choose, may you be inviolable.
Care for you body as you would for a sacred grove, and care for those you love.
May your life be rich with many forms of love: passion, affection, devotion, compassion, humor and playfulness, wild adventures and a safe hearth to come home to.
May you find lovers, partners, friends and companions those who will nurture you and those whom you will nurture.
Know that you are unique and precious, that no one else can take your place.
Be Blessed.
So she read it, blushed, said " Thank You Mommy" and we pigged out on Sushi and shopped til we dropped!1
She keeps the note in her "special keepsake box".

Food , glorious food

My friend Mika just "tagged" me in something called a food meme. I don't know what a meme is, and I'm not very computor savvy so I'm going to break some of the rules but I'll do it anyway!

The rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules ( right off the bat I break a rule...I don't know how to "link")

2. Share 5 food facts about yourself

3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names ( linking to them....Linking again!!)

4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

Here's my lame way of linking....Mika http://mika-ryan.blogspot.com/ sent me this and I'm determined to do it my way!!!!

1. My mom did "fusion" before it was even a word in culinary circles. Yup, I was raised on a Canadian/British fusion of VERY well done meat, VERY boiled vegetables served with a heaping side of boiled, mashed potatoes or minute rice. She also put different foods together in what we now call a fusion but back then it was called a casserole. Tuna, rice and Miracle Whip or macaroni, hambuger and tomatoe soup ( a favorite of all the grandkids ....they beg her for it!).

2. My relationship with food morphed somewhat through my teenage years and into young adulthood. I had an eating disorder. Food was eaten for all the wrong reasons, not tasted, not appreciated, loved and hated at the same time. It became an obsession and all consuming. Not good food years.

3. I now have a normal healthy relationship with food. Let's face it, the casting director for the next Sex in the City is not going to come to Edmonton in the near future looking for that perfect 46 yr old mother of two to replace Sarah Jessica Parker!! I'm not paid to be skinny!! I enjoy food!!

4. My roommate through nursing school was in the restaurant business prior to nursing. She changed me. She taught me about cooking, ( not to say we didn't enjoy our Kraft dinner or crunchy peanut butter by the spoon!). Lois exposed me to ethnic food, fine cuisine, fine wines, the art of dining slowly for hours at a noisey artsy restaurant, cooking from scratch! Thank you Lois!!

5. Having kids kinda changes things a bit. My 11 yr old is a whiz in the kitchen and will try , and usually likes most foods. She did all my Christmas baking and she can cook up a storm. My 9 year old is another story. I don't really know how to describe it....only raw veggies, no sauce ( including ketchup! What kid doesn't like ketchup?!!) , he does the "gross shiver gag thingy" if there's ANY skin or fat on his meat, hates fish ( although LOVES calamari...and even knows it's squid!), no spice ( therefore no flavor). Anyhoo, our family meals are kinda boring ( maybe why mom cooked how she cooked......3 kids with different tastes!). I know it'll change and we can all sit down to a good Pad Thai in a few years.

So for my tagging I break the rules too. I don't know 5 other bloggers! My friends are facebookers so I'll only do a couple......and again I have to do the lame way of linking......

I tag my sister Judith http://judes-journey.blogspot.com she was raised on Minute Rice too!

I tag Maggy and Me author http://maggyandme.blogspot.com she's a friend of Mika and I read her blog and enjoy it.

Now I'm going to try to get some of my friends on facebook to get into this blogging thing. I mean really....there's no "meat" to facebook, no stories, no debates, nothing to really "chew" on...it's a little like Minute Rice.....

Sensitive Issues

There's a really good blog I love to read. It's called Life with Mika....check it out at http://www.mika-ryan.blogspot.com. I met Mika about 12 years ago in Vancouver through my sister. I liked Mika right away. She's funny, liberal, open-minded, adventurous, just a neat person to be around.
Mika was born in Texas USA and came to Vancouver Canada many years ago. Mika's family still lives in Texas and through her blog she can keep them up to date on her comings and goings. Her son lives in Thailand and because of her blog she can still be a Mom in touch with her son, imparting her motherly words of wisdom and letting him know via this medium that she's still cool and in touch with what's going on in the world.
Lately the blog has been "interesting".
As I mentioned before Mika was born in Texas, .......I've been to Texas. I went to Dallas 2 years ago for a Mary Kay thingy and whoo-eee I've never been preyed, I mean prayed for, so much in my life!!!!
We're talking about the land of Bush and right wing Christian conservatism and well...I was sitting at a table with about 7 Texan gals and I was made to hold hands while grace was said and the talk ( they started it!!) came to religions and I guess I made the mistake of mentioning , respectfully, that I question the whole male sky god thing and that perhaps we're all accountable and can't ask said male sky God to fix our mistakes and everything and well......if there is a male sky God I've got it made in the shade because they prayed....are still praying for me......(oh and they're praying for my gay opera friend who got married to his partner legally in Edmonton the week before too). ( word of advise....when in Texas don't mention the power of the Universe, gays and liberals)!!! They were great gals, and I know they liked me and wanted what they thought was the best for me....I guess.......

Anyhoo, Mika is honest and open minded about her beliefs, and tells it like it is in her blog and well.......her last post mentioned politics ( she's liberal minded) and a family member( I'll call Ms T) made a comment on Mika's blog that got all preachy and lecturey and I kinda lost it.......
You see Ms T has been irking me for awhile and I've tried to be all light and funny and "Oh well" about her in the past but the last one just got me!!! Something about " why Canadians even care about who gets elected President of the US!!! Her past comments on Mika's blogs about topics on.....
gays ( apparantly wrong, wrong, wrong......but with the "right" religious beliefs gayness can be fixed!) ,
religion ( Christian conservative),
immigrants ( free loaders),
health care ( you got the cash you get the care),
those in need of social assistance( those people from New Orleans should stop expecting the Govn't to bail them out),
I'd usually comment in some offhand way but the last one irked me alot! Why do we Canadians care? Because we're global citizens!!! Because your President Bush is wrecking it for everyone in the playground we call "the world"!!!

I commented quite strongly. I Bush bashed, and said some other stuff and I think I insulted Ms T and maybe got Mika into some trouble with her family.
Mika, I'm sorry if I offended your family.....I'll try to play better in your sandbox next time!

Slippery Slope to Sweats and Greasy Hair

I'm sooo confused! As I mentioned before I'm a telehealth nurse....I provide medical advise and info over the phone. Right now I work downtown, on the 5th floor overlooking the river valley. It's bright and aery and across the street from a Starbucks. Need I say more!
We've been notified that a new pilot project is starting in a couple of weeks.....the chance to work from home.
No parking issues or should I say parking tickets issued.
No commute in a snow storm, no worries that after 8 hrs parked outside the car won't start. BUT......
This could be dangerous ...... Could this be me.....
I see myself now......rolling out of bed onto the floor where I crawl to the office in my basement.
It's cool in the basement so I wrap an old blanket I find in the laundry room around my shoulders.....8 hrs later my children knock tentatively on the door .....I open it and they cringe at both the sight and smell of mommy ......my greasey hair with dark roots about 3 inches long, coffee stained sweats, I'm carrying dirty dishes and empty beer cans out of my office, I squint at the natural light coming down the stairs from the kitchen above.
Alright, I'm sure it won't be that bad but do I want to do the "work from home" thing?
I don't mind getting out of my Lu Lu Lemon sweats and jeans to don the office casual garb.
I don't mind dropping my kids off at school and stopping at my Starbucks as I head into the office.
I have some nice shoes and skirts that I only wear to work....I want a reason to buy more!
I hate having to go to work in a snowstorm.
I don't like the commute...wasting gas/global warming and all that.
Argh!

And I Quote!

The following quotes were sent to me via e mail from a friend....I HAD to share....
LANGUAGE

There was a time when words were used beautifully. These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language was boiled down to four-letter words!


The exchange between Churchill and Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison," and he said,
"If you were my wife, I'd take it."

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Gladstone, a member of Parliament, to Benjamin Disraeli :
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, sir," said Disraeli, "On whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

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"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

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"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

- Winston Churchill

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"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."

- Winston Churchill.

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"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

- Clarence Darrow.

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"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner(about Ernest Hemingway).

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"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"

- Ernest Hemingway(about William Faulkner).

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"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

- Moses Hadas.

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"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."

- Abraham Lincoln.

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"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

- Mark Twain.

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"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

- Oscar Wilde .

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"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend....

if you have one." -

George Bernard Shaw toWinston Churchill.

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"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

- Winston Churchill, in response.

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"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

- Stephen Bishop.

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He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

- John Bright.
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"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

- Irvin S. Cobb.
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"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."

- Samuel Johnson.

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"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

- Paul Keating.

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"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure".

- Jack E. Leonard.

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"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt."

- Robert Redford.

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"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed.



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"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

- Forrest Tucker.

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"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

- Mark Twain.

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"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

- Mae West.

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"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

- Oscar Wilde.

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"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang(1844-1912).

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"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

- Billy Wilder.

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"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

- Groucho Marx.

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A WOMAN MARRIES A MAN EXPECTING HE WILL CHANGE; HE DOESN'T.
A MAN MARRIES A WOMAN EXPECTING SHE WILL REMAIN THE SAME; SHE DOESN'T.
anonymous